Guess who came to talk in our ACLE last afternoon. Asia Agcaoili!

It was weeks ago when we at
UPJC were talking about having our ACLE (Alternative Classroom Learning Experience) with perhaps the hottest topic imaginable – no, not the oh-so-boringly-depressing political stuff – sex! But of course, it should have something to do with the stuff we like – journalism. (Er, actually it’s just our “second like,” we actually like sex the most. Joke!) Thus our concept of a symposium called “Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby”: A Symposium on Sex Writers and the Concept of Sex in the Philippine Context was born.

Back to what happened just this afternoon. After all the cramming (heck, we were still putting on the backdrop when one of our speakers arrived!) – the absence from two of my classes that morning, the bending over the panel boards painstakingly making the nightclub-façade-neon-lights-like outline of a man and a woman (ala Mr. & Mrs. Smith), the stifled outbursts of nagging, everything! – our sympo was a success. And I mean SUCCESS.

I was worried when at first there were just a few people coming over, of which half were fellow JCers, because it meant that our – I admit – not-so-everywhere publicity campaign didn’t work. But a couple of minutes later, a few dozens did come (pun not intended), which cost me a big sigh of relief; at last count there were 40 curious audiences, not including JCers. It’s quite a crowd, really, considering our somewhat-remote venue (CMC M211). I actually thought I saw lost-looking students at the lobby who, after an hour, finally found their way to our sympo.

I was totally starstruck when I met Asia on my way out of the room after multiple-checking that the stage was already, er, acceptable looking. I had seen her on TV (and elsewhere) many times but she hadn’t really looked that uber-alluring to me. Sure, she’s sexy and all but, honestly, there were times when I thought she looked sort of old, somewhat like that Aegis vocalist. Hehehe. The Asia Agcaoili I met last afternoon, however, was a porcelain-skinned angel with a ready smile. Awed, the only word I could muster was “hi”; smilingly she hied back. Later on, the angel became the bitchy, feisty sexy star she’s known for (most recently, on Pinoy Big Brother she had said she couldn’t last 100 days without sex). She talked about her mechanics on writing an interesting sex column and bits of trivia about herself (e.g. she lost her hymen when she was a child while riding a bicycle, hush-hush approach on sexuality when she was a teenager made her more curious about making out, she had tried out everything she wrote in her column in FHM, ad orgaseaum…).

Another of our speakers was Cosmopolitan Magazine (Phils.) associate editor Claire Betita-Samson who is also a JC alumna. She had prepared a PowerPoint presentation complete with exclusive behind-the-scenes Cosmo pics for her speech; too bad something was wrong with the technical stuff. One interesting thing she mentioned was about men’s horniness: studies showed, she said, that if a man’s ring finger is longer than his index finger, he has higher levels of testosterone, and thus, supposedly, greater degree of horniness. (No comment.)

Still another of our guests was Dr. Margie Holmes, a veteran sex therapist and author idolized even by Asia (she even said she was starstruck she’s actually meeting Holmes at last). Holmes is really fun. Overenthusiastic and gesture-ful would be quite succinct to describe her. And very knowledgeable about sex, obviously.

And last but not the least, we had Cecile Balgos, a PCIJ writer who had conducted studies about sexuality in the South-East Asian region. The funny thing was: while the “naughty” speakers were talking about what they do and like best, Ms. Balgos was just there staring at them with grave seriousness, as though studying them. If there was anything funny, she’d just smirk. Her overall look, like what Asia had mistook her for, suggested she’s from the academe. With her formal-looking blouse and jeans, she was the stereotypical conservative middle-aged woman, the kind of person who’d twitch upon hearing words such as “blowjob” and “vagina”. It turned out she’s actually open-minded about this sex howtos thing. When it was her turn to talk, she even tried on giving punch lines, which somehow worked. Her talk was mostly about statistics on people’s perceptions on sexuality in SE Asian countries.

And then there came the Giniling Festival guys who sang their song “Tsong, Boyfriend Mo Pokpok”. I’m not that fond of their music, but their lyrics and added acoustics (“grrr!”) were quite interesting.

Soon, before the open forum started, the speakers suddenly began plugging. As if they were in a talk show! Haha! Dr. Holmes announced a book launching which will be held soon and Asia suggested we watch Pinoy Big Brother (because she’ll be doing something "different"), read her column "Sex Confidential" on FHM, and listen to her radio show on Wave(?) Magic 89.9. But then, our set did look like a talk show set, complete with a sala set and pink rose-shaped candles scattered on the floor (and don’t forget the artsy-fartsied panel boards!).

What else did I learn…ah, yes, some new terms: “rocks”, “twins”, “headlights”, which all mean “breasts” and “quiff” and “vart”, which mean, er, a sort of “vaginal flatulence”.

So how did I feel during the course of the talks? Let’s just say, I spent 40 percent of the time listening intently, 30 percent half-cringing, and another 30 percent laughing or chuckling heartily.

I know I’ve blabbed a lot now. So to end this harangue with a thought, do you know that even the publicly-wholesome McDonald’s is unsafe from “adventurous” lovers? When Cosmo girl Claire Betita-Samson received a woman’s “confession” about her sexcapade at a McDonald’s branch, she didn’t believe it; when she went to a McDonald’s one day, however, on the second floor, holding her longganisa-and-egg breakfast, she saw a couple doing “it” just behind the trash cans.

What a spectacle. No, I mean, our ACLE. A spectACLE.

Photos courtesy of Paul